Start a Real Connection
Ethan Sullivan
Ethan Sullivan
| 08-12-2025
Science Team · Science Team
Start a Real Connection
Making new friends can feel tricky—especially as we get older or busier. But it's also one of the most rewarding things you can do for your well-being.
Friendships offer support, joy, and a sense of belonging that can brighten even the hardest days. Whether you're moving to a new city or simply feeling ready to expand your circle, this guide is here to help.
We'll explore how to take those first steps toward new friendships without pressure or awkwardness. No scripts or fake smiles—just real tips to help you find your people and build connections that last.

Open the Door to Connection

Starting new friendships begins with small, intentional shifts. It's not about being the loudest in the room or joining every social event. It's about creating chances for connection—and being open to what comes next.
Start with Shared Spaces
Friendship often starts where shared interests live. Think about what brings you joy—like a pottery class, hiking group, community project, or local bookshop events. When you show up where you feel like yourself, the chances of meeting like-minded people increase naturally.
Even everyday spaces—like a morning café stop, coworking corner, or neighborhood park—can be places where conversations begin.
Be Approachable (Without Faking It)
You don't need to sparkle with energy or constantly entertain to make friends. A simple smile, eye contact, or a friendly comment ("That's a great tote—where'd you get it?") can open the door.
Small talk isn't meaningless—it's often the first stepping stone to something deeper. Keep your tone genuine, and don't worry if it's a bit awkward at first. Most people are just as nervous about starting conversations.
Take the First Step (Even If It's Small)
It's okay to be the one who makes the first move. Ask someone if they'd like to grab a coffee after class. These small invitations can grow into bigger connections over time.
You don't have to click instantly. Sometimes, it's about showing up again—and giving the friendship room to grow at its own pace.
Start a Real Connection

Nurture the Spark Into Something Meaningful

Once you've made a connection, it's all about giving it space to grow. Friendships, like plants, thrive with a little attention, a little patience, and lots of light. Here's how to keep things moving in the right direction.
Be Curious, Not Just Polite
The best friendships are built on mutual interest and trust. Ask thoughtful questions that show you’re paying attention—like how their weekend went, what they’re reading, or what's been making them laugh lately.
And share a bit of yourself too. Let them in on something real—something more than just the weather or weekend plans. These little moments of honesty help build something deeper.
Keep the Effort Light but Consistent
You don't need to text daily or plan big meetups. Just check in from time to time, follow up on something they mentioned, or send a funny message that made you think of them.
Friendship isn't about intensity—it's about showing up, even in small ways. Consistent, low-pressure interactions often grow into strong, lasting bonds.
Let Go of the "Perfect Fit" Myth
Not every new connection will turn into a lifelong best friend—and that's okay. Be open to different types of friendships: some people may be your go-to for deep talks, while others are great company for walks or events.
The magic is in variety.
And when you're not chasing the "perfect match," you give real friendships room to unfold in unexpected ways.
Starting new friendships doesn't require a script or a personality overhaul. It just takes openness, presence, and a little bit of courage. When you show up with curiosity and kindness, you give yourself the best chance to connect.
So say hello. Ask a question. Send that message.
You never know which small step could grow into a friendship that fills your life with warmth, laughter, and belonging. You've got this—one genuine moment at a time.